Crazy Questions By Foreign Tourists That Make Indians Go "Whaaat?!"

As a travel-blogger, I love when people are curious about my country and want to visit it. I always make sure that I am answering all their queries with as much information as I can. But, it also means that I have crossed paths with people who ask surprisingly bizarre questions about India. Some of these are so cliché that I wonder how we can put a stop to it. So, I decided to make a list of dumb yet commonly asked questions about India. Want to have a laugh? Want a chance to wonder what is wrong with people? Read on! 

How do I avoid elephants on the streets?

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My reaction - If someone asks me this dumb question one more time, I will ask my pet elephant to take that person away and leave him in the jungle! 

Honest answer - Just kidding, but I hope you understand how frustrated it makes me. You may find an elephant on the road, but these are domesticated and are used for short tourist rides only.

Is there anything I can eat? Everything is so spicy!

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My reaction - I sometimes wonder how people can actually believe that India, the land of millions of people, survive only on spicy food. Wake up, dude! 

Honest answer - We definitely love our spices, but we are also proud to serve some of the best non-spicy Gujarati, Rajasthani, north-Indian cuisines. And of course, you can always request less-spicy dishes at the restaurants. 

Do Indians understand English or do they all speak Indian?

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My reaction - Do you realize that you are asking that question in English on Indian tourism forums hoping to get answers from Indians who, according to you, speak only Indian?

Honest answer - Firstly, there are millions of Indians that are fluent in English and use it for communication on a daily basis. Secondly, there is no such thing as Indian language! There are 22 major languages with more than 700 dialects. You need to get your facts straight before asking funny questions about India.

I am sure I will get diarrhea. How can I avoid that?

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My reaction - Now, how do I put this nicely? We are not here to turn any ends of tourists into baby volcanos. 

Honest answer - You have to keep in mind that if you are eating different types of cuisine, your body may take some time to adjust - as simple as that! Drink bottled water, avoid street food for the first few days and make sure you have visited your physician before traveling to India. 

Are women allowed to travel alone in India?

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My reaction - No, they can’t. Women are not even allowed to breathe when they are alone in India. (I hope you understand sarcasm, my friend.) 

Honest answer - There are many women travelers who go solo at different corners of the country and you can too! That does not mean you can throw caution to the wind. Always follow all the do’s and don’ts of solo traveling.  

How can I walk on the road? There is so much traffic.

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My reaction - Umm, that’s a bit tricky. I guess you will have to use your feet as opposed to your country where you simply ‘apparate’ or fly on a broom. (Sorry for the Harry Potter reference, muggles.)

Honest answer - There are numerous vehicles on the road honking away at any point in time. But, it is like an organized chaos. You will need a few days to get the grasp of it. Till then, follow locals or small groups while crossing a road. 

Why do I have to use my hands for eating? Why do they not provide a fork and knife?

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My reaction - Most of the Indians have not yet evolved much from apes and do not know how to eat properly, happy to hear that?

Honest answer - You can always use a fork and knife while eating Indian cuisine. The only problem is not all the dishes can be eaten that way. Have you tried cutting a piece of roti and dipping it in sabji? I am sure anyone will prefer using hands after trying that. 

Have you ever been a victim of such questions? Let us know and I am happy to answer those as well!

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ABOUT THE AUTHOR

Dhruvalakshmi, who believes that her Patronus would be a cat, loves day-dreaming and writing. But, she gets very uncomfortable when it comes to writing third person introductions like this one ...

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