8 Things You Should Never Eat Or Drink On A Plane

Airplane food isn’t the most appetizing meal to devour unless it's first class and you’re eating the freshest of oysters and creme brulees. However, coach food is most definitely equivalent to couch food. As they slip the tray on to the table and you’re uncomfortably adjusting yourself between the tiny inch of free space you realize something just doesn’t look right. It looks wrong, it smells wrong and now that you put that uncooked piece of meat in your mouth it definitely tastes wrong. This is why they’ve so conveniently placed the barf bag in the seat pocket, you know when to use it and it’s definitely not because of turbulence.
So instead of putting yourself through this mayhem, why not get your own food, right? Well, while that might be the smartest thing to do, unfortunately to others you could be "the oversized airplane food" nauseating them. Why? because you then bring in the most horrifying foods to eat. So for the greater good of mankind, we present to you a list of foods & drinks that you should never bring on a plane.

1) Tuna Salad

Image Source: Pixabay.com

Oh god that smell, you can sniff that a mile away and suddenly the crying babies don’t bother you so much, you feel sorry for the poor sods that are behind suffocating in the putrid smell of fish. It envelopes the entire plane and then you think how on earth is the guy still eating it? Please don’t gas us like this.

2) Indian Food

Image Source: Wikimedia Commons

I love me some tikka masala myself, but when you’re in a metal tube with a few hundred people it’s probably not the best time to unleash the smell of wrath. I’m sure it smells heavenly for the first few minutes, and I might even salivate but when it lays thick like its owner. You want to gag, spray yourself with febreze and wait for your impending doom.

3) Booze

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While airport bars are adults Disneyland, mostly because it’s so expensive and you have to wait in line forever. It’s also where the worst passengers set themselves loose. Every plane has that one guy who drinks himself silly before and after boarding the flight and is literally left with little or no motor skills at all. He’ll slur some stories you don’t want to hear and end up passing out and drooling on your fav onesie the entire journey. Good luck, you.

4) Homemade sandwiches

Image source: Pixabay.com

You, the one with the zippy bag. Yeah, you. You think you’re so cool with your homemade sandwiches, Miss Healthy Sally? However, after all the trauma your sandwich has faced while going through security and being forgotten at several places. It’s finally here, like a war stricken hero. It’s pickled limbs hanging out, a pool of barbeque sauce at its crust and its whole body soaked with the odour of death. I know you’re going to nibble on it and forget it. But we won’t, it’s too late for us to escape, it’s just too late. *sobs*

5) Cheesy Cheetos

Image Source: Mike Mozart/flickr.com

Ugh, You know why I dislike you? Because you never offer them. You sit there munching with your satisfied glint, I can hear the crunch a thousand decibels louder and the smell has never been so good. I try making eye contact, but you don’t care. You lick your fingers and I just watch, hopeful that you’ll drop one, but you never do. :(

6) Instant Soup/Noodles

Image Source: Wikimedia Commons

To be honest, it’s just instant mess.The flight attendant will make the rounds so the water is exactly the piping hot you like. You’ll mix the ingredients spilling most of it on the table and maybe yourself. You’ll sip it daintily and everything seems to be fine. Until, of course turbulence hits you drowning you and your co-passenger in scalding hot mess. Ouch.

7) Peanut Butter Jelly Time? NO.

Image Source: Pixabay.com

This is because you’re a nice person. Literally, everyone is allergic to Peanuts and it can get really ugly if they get that reaction. So, it’s your duty as a good citizen to not kill them with your humble peanut butter jelly sandwich. Who knew PBJ was destined for such mass destruction? Life is in your hands, so drop that sandwich and nobody will get hurt. Good boy.

8) Chewing Gum

Image source: N i c o l a/flickr.com

Plain and simple, it’s annoying. The constant clicking of the tongue, the #fail bubble burst that splatters all over his/her face and then you have to watch them pick it out bit by bit. The whole process is cringeworthy and unnecessary. What really disgusts people is the blatant disregard of tissue papers and suddenly your co-passenger is a 6 yr snotty kid who sticks gum under tables. Gross.

While food etiquette is taken care of, there are some other things you might want to keep in mind. Ladies & gentlemen please don’t suffocate people with your strong perfume and cologne that you helped yourself at the duty free and being a space invader only works well on video games, not in reality and if you have to use the loo don’t trample over your co-passenger believe me he/she will gladly move. Other than that, have yourself a fabulous flight and happy tripping! 
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Travel Writer & Marketer at TripHobo